12 December 2007 - I moved it into a bigger file.

Day Two of crossing the picket line:
I'm currently working on a spec script that a director may or may not use for his reel. The "may" part because it's heavy on the dialogue and he's mainly known for shooting cars. The "may not" because as of right now, he doesn't know that I'm writing it for him...yet.
*Cue Scrubs fantasy sequence where Max wallpapers an office with his script*

So rule one of PA work is that if anyone ever asks "Who's not doing anything?" you never answer. The higher-ups never want to learn that they're paying someone to sit around and lollygag (Sidebar: If a sadist sits around and does nothing, would that make it "lollyballgag?"). Normally, this isn't a problem, what with constant coffee runs and more faxing than one human can possibly manage.
But on this job, there's a surprisingly tiny amount of work that's split amongst three PAs. So there are plenty of moments where we lapse into YouTubing, screenplay writing, or playing running charades. And each time we say "Sounds like kneecap," we run the risk of getting fired.
Which is why I give to you my patented Five Step Guide to Looking Busy (Note: patent pending).
Step One: The busy walk. The pace is somewhere between a forty yard dash and a powerwalk. Your feet should never leave the ground, but you need to convey a sense of urgency. An angry frown or dismayed SIGH may help.
Step Two: Sit at a computer with multiple monitors and drag windows to and fro. Sure, you might be checking Facebook. But when the window passes from one screen to the other, it makes your boss think that a) you're techno-saavy and b) you can multi-task.
Step Three: Have a large stack of papers or CDs nexto to your workspace. Creates the illusion that you're involved in a project with no end in sight. And when the pile doesn't seem to get any smaller, it shows just how dedicated you are to this company.
Step Four: Pretend that you're always having printer or copier problems. Everyone empathizes with this, so the guy kicking the copier always gets a free pass. Hell, it might even be a conversation starter with the IT guy or the other people who need to use the fax machine.
Step Five: If you ever get caught goofing around, make up a fake boss and say you're working on a side project. For the past 6 days, Mr. Calrissian has had me putting together a file on blonde American Idol winners who sing country.

Or, you could always pull a George Costanza and leave your car in the parking lot overnight. That way, you're the last man in the office and the first one to arrive.

Serenity NOW,
MGD

'That's what she said' of the day:
Re: Splicing a 15 second audio clip onto 12 seconds of film.
"Don't worry: I'll make it fit."